


Nightlife

by derp2lol (Ihere)



Series: PoliceForcestuck [12]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drinking & Talking, F/F, F/M, Goose Chase
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-12
Updated: 2012-08-07
Packaged: 2017-11-09 20:25:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/458018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihere/pseuds/derp2lol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some girls gather around for a night of drinks. A night of fun turns a little sour with alcohol. And Karkat joins Gamzee for a wild goose chase.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Officer Jade Harley is twiddling her pen. It is nearing the end of her work day, and she is absolutely bored. Her pen continuously hits her metal desk causing a tapping nuisance that has been driving Officer Vantas insane for the last five minutes.

Tap, tap, tap, “Will you stop that!”

Jade is startled, “Stop what?”

“Your continuous tapping! Are you trying to damage my brain? Why don’t you make it easier for yourself and shoot a bullet through my skull?”

Officer Harley drops her pen, “Alright, geez calm down. I’m just bored.”

“What is your problem?” Karkat rants. “If you’re so bored than just bother someone else!”

“Well that’s helpful!” Jade pushes away from her desk and watches the clock; she is reminded of tv shows with kids following the clock at the end of class. This is pretty similar she believes. But if it’s similar to school, then what do the children look forward to afterwards? “Hey Karkat I got an idea, why don’t we get drinks after work! We could get drunk!”

Karkat keeps his head bent over his work, “No offense Jade, or take the fucking offense, but you’re not the best drinking buddy. You’re twenty-one, not a great age for heavy drinking. Fuck, the way you offered sounded childish.” Jade stuck her tongue out defiantly. “Way to prove my point Harley.”

“Come on Karkat, it’ll be fun!” The woman flips to a different troll, “What do you think Vriska?”

The blue troll is inspecting her nails, “I could get drunk alone as easily as with you. I’ll think about it.”

“Jade you do realize that having Vriska with us will not increase my desire to indulge in alcohol?”

Officer Harley pouts, “Karkat stop being a butt!”

Karkat’s desk phone rings. The troll picks it up, “What is it?”

“I’m sorry Mr. Vantas,” Kanaya starts, “but Mr. Makara is requesting you in the front office.”

“What is Gamzee doing here? It’s almost closing time.”

“I don’t know Mr. Vantas, but Mr. Makara is making it out to be urgent.”

“Alright fine, I’m coming.” He hangs up. “I’ll be back in a minute,” he tells Jade. The troll soon leaves the females.

Karkat enters the entrance room, and Gamzee is staring at Kanaya’s horns, “Whoa sis, just how do those motherfuckers bend like that? Can I motherfucking touch those sharp shits?”

Ms. Maryam watches him cautiously, “Don’t make me get my lipstick.”

“I could totally use a motherfucking makeover sis.”

Officer Vantas steps in, “I got this Kanaya.” He pulls Gamzee over, “What are you doing here?”

“Well bro, it’s a motherfucking long story.”

Another troll bursts past the entrance doors. Her long, damp hair slaps her back as she runs past the desk, “Hi Kanaya!” 

“Good evening Ms. Peixes. Shall I inform Mr. Captor of your visit?”

“Nope!” She keeps up her pace, “He knows I’m coming.” The sea dweller troll waltzes into the officers’ area. She is dressed for the nightlife.

Feferi sneaks up behind the double horned troll and wraps her arms around him, resting her chin on his shoulder. “How’s my favorite Guppy?”

Sollux is stunned, “Fef, what are doing here?” She twists around to face him confused.

“We had plans tonight, don’t you remember?”

“We did?” Feferi nods her head, and Sollux face palms, “Oh Grub Fef, I completely forgot.”

Feferi throws her head back grimacing, “Sollux no.”

He shakes his head, “I’m so sorry Fef; I have all this work to still do. I’m so sorry that I forgot.”

Feferi leans on his desk, “I understand you have work like everyone else. All for the good of Skaia, right? We can always reschedule.”

“I really am sorry about this Fef.”

She sighs, “And I do understand Sollux. I just . . I was just really looking forward to this night out from all the craziness going around lately.”

Jade, who had been listening to the conversation nearby, perks, “Hey Feferi, I was just trying to gather some others to go out for drinking tonight, do you want to come?”

“Drinking?”

“Yeah it’ll be fun! I’m trying to get Karkat to-“

Karkat’s head pushes past the doors, “Hey Jade I’m leaving for the night. Bye.” And he was gone.

“Well I guess Karkat isn’t coming,” Jade finishes with a forced laugh. 

Feferi smiles, “That might actually be fun.”

“That sounds like a great idea Jade,” Sollux agrees. “You should have fun and go nuts, Fef.”

“Wow,” Feferi is amazed, “I don’t know if I’ve ever been out drinking crazy.” She ponders it for a second, “I’m in.”

Jade turns to Vriska who is still doing her nails, “Do you want to go drinking with us?”

“I don’t know Jade, drinking with a kid and princess there might dampen the party mood.”

Feferi starts a bargain, “Well how about this Vriska, I’ll use my limo to drive us around to avoid drunk drivers and I’ll pay for the drinks.”

Vriska sits up excited, “Free drinks and a limo? Alright I’m in.”

“Wow that was easy Vriska,” Jade jokes. She grins at Feferi, “Thanks. Oh I know! This can be a girls’ night out.”

“That does sound like fun!” the troll giggles.

Officer Harley stands up in her seat, “Would you mind if we made this group bigger?”

“More the merrier!”

“Great!” Jade dashes towards the front desk.

Kanaya is busy applying her lipstick, but stops when she sees Jade running up towards her, “Ms. Harley you know better than to run in the department. This is a place of-“

“I know I know!” Jade interrupts with a slight gasp for breath. “I just wanted to know if you would like to hang out with us tonight.”

“Us?”

“Feferi and Vriska are coming with me for drinks. Do you want to come?”

Kanaya is conflicted; this isn’t her sort of thing. “I’m not sure Ms. Harley. It’s not really my type of activity.”

“Oh come on Kanaya!” Jade props her hands over the front desk. “Instead of reading some trashy romance novel, come get hammered with us!”

“I don’t know . . .”

Jade rolls her eyes, “I did say Vriska would be there. She’s going to be drunk.”

Kanaya is insulted, “I’m not going to take advantage of her.”

“No no no not that! But you’ll get to hang out with her, and she might see another side of you that’s looser that she’ll like!” 

The receptionist sighs, “Alright, it’ll at least stop you from pestering me. And my relationship with Ms. Serket could get . . closer.” 

Jade snickers, “Awesome! We’ll be leaving soon.”

“Ms. Harley I swear you are the devil.” Jade just smirks and returns to her desk.

However, she stops half way to bring out her cell phone to make a call. She searches her contacts to find the right number and presses the call button. 

It rings while she waits around the other desks. Other officers are already packing up and leaving around her. 

“Hello?”

“Hey Rose it’s Jade. What are you doing tonight?”


	2. Chapter Two

A troll drags twenty-five pounds of garbage out of his restaurant. He groans from the pressure against his old back. The garbage stops moving for a second for the troll to wipe yellow sweat from his forehead. Why did his employees have to go home early on garbage night? They’re just a bunch of lazy pests.

He returns to the trash dragging it to the front of his pizza joint. The troll sighs; a job is finally done right. Now, he can go home and take a nice bubble bath-

A flying object hits and knocks down the trash can, spilling its contents. He sees that the object is a now broken glass bottle of water. 

“Hey Phizles!” 

Phizles looks up at his caller. Someone is standing in an open roof limo window shouting at him.

“Look at me now Phizles! I’m Vriska Fucking Serket!” She cackles at him and drops back into the limo.

Jade Harley worries, “You didn’t hit anyone did you Vriska?”

She continues to laugh, “No I didn’t, but you should’ve seen his face. That’ll teach him for treating me like shit when I worked for him.” Vriska turns to the only sea dweller in the ride, “Thanks for the water Peixes! I’ll let you know if I need another one.”

Feferi is perplexed, “I think I know why you wanted us to go this way.”

“Please, I only gave him what he deserved.” Vriska nudges the troll next to her, “You agree with me, right Kanaya?”

The jade troll spills her own bottle of water on her skirt, “Oh no.” She tries to dry it up quickly.

Vriska continues to laugh, “What’s your problem? It’s only water! If you keep this up, I’ll have to start calling you fussy fangs!” Kanaya frowns at Vriska’s behavior.

“Did you start drinking before we left?” Jade asks annoyed.

“No I’m just in high spirits!”

Feferi forces a smile on her face, “Yes and when you are drunk, it’ll be great for everyone to go home in this limo. I won’t deny that I want everyone home safe . . and anyone in your path Vriska.”

“Actually I think I’ll have to take a taxi home,” Kanaya informs.

“Why? This is supposed to be a girls’ night out fun time!” The sea dweller pouts, “Don’t tell me that you are leaving early.”

“No nothing of that sort, I just live opposite of where the rest of you live. I would hate to take advantage of your limo and put everyone out of their way.”

Jade frowns, “Come on Kanaya- wait, how do you know we live so far away from you?”

“Well,” Kanaya blushes, “I do view your addresses often for mail and checks of sorts.”

“But I don’t work with the rest of you,” Feferi questions.

“True, but Mr. Captor does have me send things to your house, Ms. Peixes.”

Both trolls blush remembering the sort of ‘things,’ “Right . . . Hey call me Feferi. You’re off duty.”

“Yeah!” Jade agrees, “Stop talking to us so formal, we’re all crazy friends here!”

“If you say so Feferi, Jade,” she turns to the blue blood, “Do you agree Ms. Serket?”

“Call me whatever you want fussy fangs, but you need to calm down if you want to have some fun tonight.”

“That reminds me,” Jade begins, “I invited someone with us to increase our funitude!”

Vriska takes a swing from a fresh bottle of water, “Who is it?”

“You don’t know her, but I’m sure you’ll get along.”

The driver’s window rolls down, “We are here Ms. Peixes.”

“That’s great Galamoz.”

Feferi’s limo driver steps out and opens the door for the females. One by one they step outside and take in the view. A club with bright lights and loud music inside attracts the small line waiting for entrance. A buff troll bouncer stands at the door.

Jade smiles, “This is sooo cool!”

“Yeah whatever, blaring lights are fun to look at,” Vriska rolls her eyes. “Let’s just get in already.”

Feferi jumps up, “I’ll see about getting us in, I’m sure it’ll be a snap!” She runs off to speak to the bouncer.

“Jade, who’s our mysterious special guest?” Kanaya quires. 

“Hmm I don’t see her right now.” Jade searches around the crowd, “I wonder if she went in already, I asked her to wait for us.” The trained officer continues to search the area and across the street; however, she becomes so involved in her search that she doesn’t notice the troll who sneaked behind her and spoke in her ear. 

“Why Ms. Lime what a pleasant surprise.”

Jade screams surprised and turns around, “Terezi?”

The troll laughs at Jade’s upset, “My my, what is an officer of the law doing in a place like this?”

“Girl’s night out?”

Vriska pops out from the crowd to frown at Terezi, “Is this it? I’m disappointed Jade, I thought this guest would be special. I know this blind bat.”

“And I know you Vriska.” Terezi grins, “However, I can’t tell if you’re Ms. Blueberries or Ms. Cotton Candy right now. But I’ll go with Ms. Blueberries since those are bitterer.”

Kanaya steps in, “Good evening Ms. Pyr- I mean Terezi. Enjoying the night?”

“Definitely, I caught some bastard today who stole food. Claimed it was for the orphans, like I never heard that one before. Justice cares not for the weak minded.”

Jade starts to feel awkward in this now tense group of trolls, “Well we’re still waiting on someone Terezi, but I’m sure we’ll be happy if you came along.”

“Sure, I could use some good company. Who else is here?”

“Well our friend Feferi is trying to get us in, and we’re still waiting for-“

“Jade?” A young blonde woman taps on the officer’s shoulder.

“Rose!” The other woman abruptly wraps her arms around her friend. “So glad you’re here!”

“Agreed,” Rose removes herself from the grip. “I’ve just turned in an essay and feel like celebrating. Who are we dining with?”

Jade forgot about the confused trolls around her,” Oh right! Everyone this is Rose, she’s a friend I met a short time ago. Rose, this is Terezi, Vriska, Kanaya, and Feferi is around somewhere.” All the trolls give their idea of an appropriate greeting except Kanaya who acknowledges the woman with a frown.

Rose ignores the strange greetings and wipes the teal spit from her hand onto her skirt, “It’s nice to meet all of you.”

“Oh Rose!” Jade bounces, “I forgot to tell you that Feferi got us a limo. We rode in a limo! You can too when we go home.”

Jade’s friend tries to calm her down, “I’m not too sure about that Jade, I live far off and I’ve planned to take a taxi home. I hope you understand.”

“Far off?” Jade ponders this for a second, “Oh I got a great idea, you can ride home with Kanaya!” Rose gives an innocent smile considering this proposal.

Kanaya thinks otherwise, “Excuse me?”

“This is perfect!” Jade ignores the troll, “You two can share cab fare and tell silly stories! I thought you two would get along great! You’ll be friends by the end of the night, I’m sure of it!”

Rose smiles at the troll, “That’s fine by me Kanaya. I could use the companionship for the ride home.”

The human sticks out her hand for a shake, and Kanaya stares at it disgusted on the inside. She hesitantly accepts, “Sure, I’m positive that we’ll have a blast.” No one can see it but Kanaya is screaming inside her head.

Rose withdraws her hand that now feels a little sore for some reason, “Well I’m excited now. When can we get in?”

“Never.” Feferi glooms at her company as she joins them. “The bouncer is a jerk; he wouldn’t let me in no matter what.” Rose peers over at the bouncer.

“One second please,” and she leaves the group to speak to the frightening troll. Interested, the others follow her.

The bouncer takes one look at Rose and steps aside, “Nice to see you again Ms. Lalonde.”

Rose smiles and gestures at her party to join her inside. Jade is astounded.

“How did you do that?”

“I have connections.”

“Seriously Gamzee, how do you even live like this?” Karkat Vantas complains while standing in the mess that is Gamzee’s apartment. Trash, clothes, horns, clubs and pie tins completely litter the floor. The trolls walk through in this ankle deep disaster. 

“I guess it’s just one big motherfucking miracle bro.” The other troll finds his couch and collapses resting in its glory.

Karkat gets closer to the couch but backs away throwing his hand over his nose and mouth. “Why the fuck does this smell like . . I can’t even fucking name it!”

“Chill bro, I just had some good times on this couch.” He gives a deep laugh, “Good times.”

“Blag!” Karkat jumps in the air, “Something just brushed against my leg!”

“Yeah, that’ll happen. Aren’t they little miracles?”

“Gamzee this place needs to be cleaned up. As your moirail I order it. I don’t know how I can ever come here again after this traumatizing experience.”

The other troll sniffs the air, “Oooo I think I smell some of my pie finally baked.” He gets up and goes to his kitchen, “Want some?”

“No Gamzee,” Karkat kicks some of the trash, “I do not want your disgusting pie. Do I look like I want to get doped up so Chief Ass Sweat can do a surprise drug test tomorrow and get me fired? Is that what I want to do Gamzee? Because now that I think about it I honestly don’t know since I listened to you and came here. I must be the most idiotic living creature alive. So please tell Gamzee because you are the fucking genius in the room!”

“Bro you’re funny, I know you don’t have work tomorrow.”

Karkat rests on a randomly placed wooden chair. He lights a cigarette, “Can we just find your stupid pet now?”

“Sure bro, I miss the little motherfucker. He makes this shit feel like home.” Gamzee starts searching through the trash.

“I swear the animal rights activist would have your head swinging if they knew.”

“Fonzie!” Gamzee shouts at the microwave. He pulls out a turtle with white makeup on its shell, “What are you doing there you little motherfucker. Had me all worried and shit. I was praying for days that you’d come back.”

Karkat stares horribly amazed at his friend, “Why do you have a fucking turtle named Fonzie?”

“Well bro, I was at this sweet motherfucking pet store, and I met this fine body of a troll there. I talked to him forever bro. I felt bad for taking up his time, so I got this awesome turtle! Look at him, he runs so fast.”

“Gamzee it’s a fucking turtle. A fucking turtle!”

The now happy troll continues, “I got the name from this human show Happy Days. It’s the motherfucking bitching tits best friend. You have to tell me that you watched this miracle show.”

“Gamzee.” Karkat takes a deep breath to calm down, “Why would I watch a show with the fucking word happy in it!”

“I wonder what it’s like,” the drugged troll continues, “to live in a tv. What if you didn’t like the motherfuckers in with ya? Then it gets dark and what happens then bro? I just don’t know. But they are all the best motherfuckers and pull through it. Make me laugh and cry every time. How do they know me so well? Joanie is the shit’s tits and I just want to grab her in my arms and hug her. But I couldn’t get in the tv, the miracles couldn’t let me have that. Oh Merciful Messiahs why!” Gamzee falls to the ground hugging and crying to his turtle.

“Fuck you for making me hear that.” Karkat nudges his sorry excuse for a best friend with his foot, “Get up, I’m leaving now.”

Gamzee stands up but remembers something, “Oh fuck.”

“What is it now?”

“I just all up and remembered that I lost my motherfucking wallet.”

Karkat is frozen, “You mean to tell me you lost the wallet I fucking gave you?”

“Yup.”

He sighs and brings the cigarette to his mouth, “Put the turtle away, we’re looking for your wallet even if it takes us the whole night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates might be delayed.


	3. Chapter Three

The female party maneuvers their way through the club to find a table big enough to seat everyone. With the pounding bodies creating enough heat for a sauna; the females are already sweating through their clothes. The loud music has already started a few headaches for those in the cluster who are not used to such obnoxious noise.

Kanaya brings her hands to her ears, “Have you found a table yet?” she screams at Jade. The young woman turns to Rose who is leading the group. She is the only one not bothered by the swift change in environment. The blonde’s head turns frequently searching through the numerous bodies for an open table; bopping back and forth similar to a bird wandering for its meal.

“There’s one.” Rose points adjacent from herself at a large booth that was just being cleared from previous patrons.

Vriska pushes herself ahead, “I’m going to go claim it!” The spider troll shoves anyone in her way. She makes sure that if someone were to have a drink with them that it would be spilt in the most awkward position on their cloths. Vriska snickers to herself as she makes her way.

However Terezi beats her to the booth. “Too slow,” she cackles. 

“How did you get ahead of me? I left first!”

“Blueberry, I’ve spent years tracking down criminals; do you think I would lose to something like this?” The other females file their own way in and sit with the teal troll. Vriska irritably sits down at the end next to Jade.

A man comes up to them in simple black cloths, “May I get you ladies anything?” 

“Specialty shots?” Feferi asks the others. They coincide and the man leaves to fill in the order. 

Terezi leaves the booth, “Well I don’t know about you, but I’m going to dance before I look too ridiculous.”

“That’s possible?” Vriska quips to Jade. The woman gives her a slight slap on the arm.

“So is anyone going to join me?” Everyone started to exit their seats except for Vriska.

Jade stops exiting, “Aren’t you going to dance?”

“I dance better drunk.” The human frowns and returns to her seat.

“Then I guess I’m going to keep you company.”

“You don’t have to do that Jade. Go party with your friends.”

“I don’t mind; you’re my friend too.” The two females sit together in a now awkward friendship silence. 

After a few minutes of this Jade speaks up, “What’s your deal with Terezi?”

“Why don’t you tell me? She’s being a bitch.”

“No she’s not! I think you’re too competitive around her.”

“That’s a lie! I’ve never had a good feeling with her around.” Vriska turns away to avoid Jade’s eyes, “Something about her throws me off . . .”

Jade stares at the table thinking, “Oh! Is this a hate love thing?” The troll flicks her on the head.

“Of course not! I just feel like I’ve seen her before. It gives me chills.”

A couple of males walk up to the pair to interrupt their conversation. One human and one troll. “Good evening sweet heart,” greets the fair haired man to Jade. “What are you doing sitting alone like this?”

“I’m right here,” Vriska growls.

“You have some pretty green eyes,” the man continues. “I could stare at them all day.” Jade starts to blush at these tacky pickup lines. “How could any man leave you alone?”

“Seriously,” Vriska starts again, “I’m right fucking here.”

They continue to ignore her, “Mind if we join you?” The man slides down next to Jade. The troll starts to join his friend, but stops suddenly.

“Actually I think we’ll be going now.” His eyes are focused straight ahead, and he doesn’t look like his brain is connected.

The man is confused and doesn’t seem to notice his friend’s change in behavior, “What are you talking about Yzekil?” The troll just grabs his friend’s arm and drags him away from the females.

Jade frowns and glares at the innocently smiling Vriska, “That wasn’t nice.” 

She snickers, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“I saw your hand, you controlled that poor troll.”

Vriska rolls her wild eyes, “Pleeeeeeeease, that guy only wanted one thing from you.”

“I know that, those lines were obvious enough, but the company would have been nice; even if he was being a little rude to you. You should be polite more often and make friends. Maybe his friend would have talked to you.”

“Jade,” Vriska grabs her shoulder like a scolding lusus, “They had roofies. They were going to slip them to us later.”

The officer is shocked, “Wait what? How do you know?”

“I could read their minds.”

“You read minds?” Jade grabs her head with both hands, “Wait, you never . . .”

“Don’t worry your mind is safe; it’s similar to how I control others. A lot of it is basically strengthening an emotion until an action is unavoidable. So I find and read every emotion in the brain and strengthen it.”

“Really? Things seemed much simpler when you did that mind thingie I thought.”

“Ooooooooh Jade, so silly. Everyone has practically every emotion running through their head all at once. It could even be a thought that ran through their head long before. The range is amazing. So I just pull that tiny little feeling and max it out. It’s a great party trick.” The club server comes and delivers their drinks. 

Something dawns upon Jade, “Vriska those guys are going to hurt someone. I have to go-“

“And do what?” Vriska interrupts. “Are you going to say, I know you have roofies, or are you just going to arrest them?”

“But you just told me-“

Vriska snarls at Jade, “I read their minds! Do you know when a psychic’s testimony was last held up in court? Never. Even before the war, trolls didn’t trust them. Always afraid of their own shadows. Confronting those assholes will only get me outed. You’re off duty, and I don’t want to go to jail tonight. So deal with it!” Vriska turns away from her friend and pouts.

“Alright,” Jade settles, “but I can’t have two guys walking around planning to rape when I know about it.”

The spider troll sighs, “Fine, I’ll take care of this if you let it go for the night.” Vriska brings one hand to her head and points out the males in the club to Jade with her other. They are far away talking to some more females.

“What are you going to-“

“Shhhhhhhh!” Jade watches the two as the troll goes under Vriska’s control again. He goes stiff and starts barking words at the club goers around him. His friend hits him to shut him up continuously, but to no result; this goes on for a few minutes. People around them turn disgusted and even throw a few drinks at the unlucky duo. Two bouncers come around to grab the males and carry them out of the club. Jade is perplexed, “What did you-“

“Well that was quite a show,” Rose returns with the others. “I do not think his advancements will work tonight.”

“Uhh What are you talking about?” Jade questions trying to seem naïve.

Feferi points to where the males where previously, “There were these two guys there and one of them just started shouting roofies over and over and over again! Almost like a siren! I thought he was crazy.”

“His friend was not amused,” Kanaya continues. “He told him to shut up, but the friend could not stop saying roofies.”

The bounty hunter chuckles, “The bouncers were pretty cool.”

Vriska decides to change subject, “Well shots are here. Bottoms up?” Everyone grabs a glass with exception to Rose. “What you don’t drink?”

“I’m against alcohol actually,” Rose explains. “My mother is an alcoholic, and I’m afraid that it could run in the family. Not to mention how damaging it was to my childhood.” 

“Buzz kill,” Vriska mocks. “Why did you come here?”

“For fun; besides I’ve wanted to watch people in drunken states that are not my mother. For research.” Nobody knows how to respond to that but Terezi.

“Well I’ll help you out by taking yours Ms. Lavender. I’m thirsty anyways.” She grabs Rose’s shot and prepares to down both at once.

“Seriously Gamzee what are you doing?” Karkat stumbles along the sidewalk following his bizarre best friend. 

“Retracing my steps bro. Everyone motherfucking knows that this is how you find shit.” The troll falls on the grass abruptly, “So this is where I woke up this morning.”

“Why were you here?”

Gamzee tries to remember, “I’m not so sure bro, but I think I had my wallet because I had to pay for some bitchin’ faygo at the supermarket before. Then I tripped on the grass. Bro I woke up here because I motherfucking fell down!”

Karkat slaps his forehead, “That’s fucking great Gamzee.”

“Okay, so I woke up and met this motherfucking caterpillar! I was all, ‘Hello bug!’ I remember because I told him how he would be a sweet ass butterfly all soon and shit. He told the best jokes bro.”

“So you were high.”

“Heh,” he chuckles, “probably. So I talked to him for a while before this lady got in my face about being on her fucking lawn. She was talking to me like a motherfucker all pissed and waving her cane around.” Karkat groans at this.

“Officer Vantas!” an old lady shouts at him from her doorstep, “You keep that hooligan off my lawn! I told him this morning that he wasn’t welcomed! I would like to get some peaceful sleep tonight!”

“Will do Mrs. Jenkins,” Karkat replies back. He grabs his moirail by the scruff of his t-shirt and pulls him up slightly. “Where did you go next? You know I hate talking to that bitch; she hates us.”

Gamzee brought himself up, “Okay sorry bro.” He turns to the apartment building, “Sorry Mrs. Jenkins!”

The elderly woman shakes her cane at him, “Go fuck off!”

“Will do Mrs. J!” Gamzee gets off her lawn. 

He wanders down the block and stops, “And after that, I remember this loud noise.”

“Gamzee, we’re at an intersection.” Karkat points out the numerous cars stopping and zooming by.

“Oh right, I tripped on a motherfucking rock right in the middle of it. Let me go-“

Karkat grabs his friend to stop him from wandering into oncoming traffic. “How the fuck are you still alive?”

The other troll shrugs, “I don’t motherfucking know. Miracles and the Mirthful Messiahs are always watching over me.”

“No, they are not! I’m the only one watching you like you’re some diseased paw beast that no one wants to kill but would be better off shot dead. And I’m the stupid little kid who has to take care of you. Aren’t I fucking lucky?”

“I guess so best friend.” Gamzee closes in for a hug, “Hug?”

Karkat pushes him away, “Get the fuck away from me! We’re in public for fucks sake!” Pedestrians rush by them, and some mothers shield their child’s eyes and ears.

Gamzee is too strong to be pushed away, “No way man, you need this motherfucker.” He pulls his friend close for a warm hug. “Isn’t this nice?”

The short, angered troll roughly shoves away his friend, “If you don’t tell me where you lost your wallet in the next five seconds, I will shove you face down the sewer, so you’ll taste shit for months.”

Gamzee has no response to this threat.

“And I’ll hide your slime.”

Gamzee is appalled! “Okay bro, let’s not do anything to drastic.” He points on ahead, “The last place I remember is over there.”

Karkat turns around and looks at where Gamzee is pointing, “You are fucking kidding me.” He points to a junkyard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be gone without update for 1-3 weeks. I hope to get one in between that time.


	4. Chapter Four

“I’m sorry but I feel that Michelle should’ve broken up with Alexander earlier in season three.” Rose shifts her legs watching the jade troll’s response.

Kanaya sways a bit from her slightly drunken stupor, “You don’t think they made the perfect couple?”

“No Kanaya, when they dated, Michelle lost her drive in what she did. She should improve her character instead of losing it.” The woman takes a sip from her water. The bright lights press on her pale skin, and sweat forms around the crown of her hair.

“I suppose that you are right,” Kanaya under her breath. The scenery is not helping her concentration for this conversation, “Michelle did get a lot farther in her character development without Alexander.”

Rose turns her lips up for a smile, “I’m glad that you finally agree with me. That’ll be the first one tonight.” Kanaya slams her drink down.

“Wha-What do you mean by that! Are you assuming that because I am a troll that I am unable to control myself thus making me disagreeable?”

The woman continues to smile knowing better, “Quite defensive aren’t you?”

“You-you’re,” Kanaya jabs a finger at the blond, “a racist!” Rose calmly lowers the troll’s hand.

“No, you’re just tipsy right now. However, your alcohol level does not explain your behavior when I first arrived here; unless you consumed beverages that rose to your bitter attitude.” 

Kanaya glares at Rose, “I don’t like you.”

“Well you’ve made that clear enough. Unfortunately, I do not understand your strong distaste for me. It seems rather irrational and inappropriate for our party.”

“You did nothing?” Kanaya growls. “You disrespected me at work!”

Rose starts to look amused, “Did I?”

“You barged past me!” The woman doesn’t connect to the troll’s words. “With that murder case. You’re supposed to see me before the officers. You insulted me by treating me below your importance.”

“Am I?” Rose looks generally concern. “I’m sorry Kanaya, my boss told me to seek officers straight away, and I was a tad overwhelmed from the experience. I apologize for my behavior, I feel terrible that I disrespected you in your work area. I know that I personally hate to be insulted in my own work environment.”

Kanaya’s anger collapses to confusion, “What are you saying?”

“That it was a mere misunderstanding, and I truly apologize.” Rose lifts her glass of water to Kanaya, “And I hope that we can put it behind us to start an interesting friendship.” Hesitantly, the troll lifts her own alcoholic drink to the water and clinks the two glasses. Kanaya starts to smile a little embarrassed at her own behavior.

She tries to hide her face, “I feel like an idiot.”

“Nonsense,” Rose removes the other’s hand, “You’re just tipsy. In any case, I found you very interesting.”

“I’ll say,” Vriska interrupts. She is resting on her folded arms on their table, “You guys were just starting to get interesting before you got boring again.”

The woman sitting next to Vriska frowns, “That’s not nice.” Jade turns to her other friends, “I think it’s great you two can bury the hatchet, or whatever it is that made you mad. We can start having some real fun!” The woman gives a slight giggle with a drunken tone behind it. Jade lazily looks at her other companions at the club: Rose, Kanaya, Vriska, Feferi is eyeing another one of her empty shot glasses, and Terezi . . . is not here. “Where’s Terezi?”

Feferi lifts her head, “Whoops! We lost one captain. The fish has been released to the sea!”

The spider troll puckers her lips, “What the fuck are you talking about Peixes?”

“Oooo, There she is,” Feferi points towards the dance floor, “She’s flounder her own catch of the bay.”

“Those are horrible puns,” Rose comments. Everyone except for her turns to look at the dance floor, but the blind troll isn’t exactly there. 

“What is Ms. Pyrope doing!” Kanaya exclaims. 

Jade is conflicted, “Well . . that’s interesting. I didn’t see that coming.” Vriska just laughs her drunken head off.

“Oh my Grub! I should’ve known Pyrope was like that!”

“Should you really be saying something?” Jade questions, “It’s not like you’re much different.”

“Maybe, but I knew what I was doing. Not like her drunken ass.”

Terezi Pyrope is flirting with the DJ; a human man.

Feferi is more concentrated on blowing bubbles in her water, “We all have our taste. I wonder what Solfish would be like with seaweed wrapped around his-“

“Okay!” Rose interrupts, “I’d rather not hear about my city protector’s alternative activities right now.” The woman looks carefully at her new blind friend’s attention grabber. She smirks recognizing who he is.

Jade looks closer now with more interest, “Wait, isn’t that-?” She turns to Rose, “Is that what you meant by ‘connections’?”

“I’ll have to ask Dave about this later,” Rose thinks aloud. “I don’t think he is drunk.”

The brunette thinks about something else, “Hey speaking of relationships, Kanaya?” The troll turns away from her drink. “Do you mind if I ask something personal?”

“Jade my romantic life isn’t that eventful.” Rose muffles a laugh.

“No no not yours. Karkat’s.” 

Kanaya is jumped a little at this, “What do you mean?”

Jade continues to wonder, “What’s the deal between him and this . . ex-wife of his?”

“Yeah I want to know too!” Vriska quips sitting up. “The asshole is so shut out about his life.”

“He really hasn’t told you anything?” Kanaya questions back concerned. “I don’t know. I think I should honor his privacy.”

“Please Kanaya!” Jade begs. “He doesn’t tell me anything, and-and it’s bothering me! I can’t explain it, but I need to know.”

The receptionist frowns at the development of this party; she sees that the sea dweller is still focused on her bubbles, so there might not be too many that don’t need to know hearing her. Rose appears interested though.

“Well I don’t know what to tell you.” Kanaya grips her glass, “They met and fell in love. Then they lost their closeness.”

Jade starts to get anxious, “I get that, I guess, but what about the getting married thing? Trolls don’t get married, that’s a human thing.”

“Careful Jade,” Rose sips her water, “You’re stereotyping.” Kanaya rolls her eyes at the woman’s quip. 

“Jade, do you understand how much of a romantic Mr. Vantas is?” 

The woman thinks this over for a second, “He likes really cheesy troll rom-coms. He tries to convince me that they are ‘The best thing Trolls have ever given to humans.’”

“Well he considers himself a romantic,” Kanaya smirks. “And Ms. Leijon is just as bad. So you have these two hopeless romantics together who think they can surpass any form of love. It only made sense for them to perform the human ceremony of love and commitment.” 

“Except they got divorce,” Vriska corrects with a laugh.

Kanaya deflates a little, “Correct.”

“But why did they get divorce?” Jade pesters.

“That is where I sadly come up short,” Kanaya states. “I was still new to the department at the time where the divorce occurred. So I didn’t think it would be right to interfere just yet. I do know things became tense around the officers; especially with Chief Zahhak. He’s Ms. Leijon’s moirail.”

“Too bad,” Rose sarcasms, “You were narrating so well.”

Jade ignores her human friend, “You never asked him about it later?”

“I did actually, but he only said that they grew apart. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can be much more help than that.” Kanaya takes another sip from her drink, “But perhaps Terezi can assist you better than I.” 

“Really?” Jade perks back up.

“Maybe so, she worked alongside Mr. Vantas around the time of the divorce. She left the department soon afterwards; presumably due to the stress of Mr. Vantas’ depression.” Kanaya gives a little snort at her drunken insult.

“That’s right!” Jade recalls, “I heard that Terezi worked at the department. Where is she? I want to ask her.”

“Ladies!” Terezi arrives at a well-placed moment, “And whatever Blueberry is-“ Vriska snarls. “I have snagged me one fine piece of ass.” She plops down a folded napkin. Rose leans over to unfold it and is impressed.

“This is his real number.”

“Mama is gonna get some fine smellings later! I’m gonna lick everything!” Terezi twirls around very drunk.

“Uh Terezi,” Jade tugs at the troll’s clothes, “One: Did you know that was a human you were talking to. And two: How are you so drunk? You had no more than what we did.” 

Kanaya lifts herself from her seat and tries to settle her old friend, “Ms. Pyrope please calm down. I’m apologize Jade, I forgot about Terezi’s issue with alcohol.”

“Issue?” Jade starts to panic, “She isn’t an alcoholic is she!?”

“No nothing like that.” Terezi tries to grab Kanaya’s face as she is being restraint. “You know Ms. Pyrope can only ‘see’ through her nose and tongue, correct? Well her tongue tasting only alcohol, and only smelling alcohol thorough her nose leads to an overwhelming amount of alcohol. It’s much more direct that what we are used to. This all results in Ms. Pyrope having a very low tolerance on alcohol.”

“What! Why didn’t she tell me?”

Rose rises up to assist Kanaya who is having severe difficulty, “I suppose Ms. Pyrope didn’t want us to damper on her fun.”

“Hehe,” Terezi collapses in the females arms. They carry her to their seats to have the troll relax, “Why is there five Kanayas?” 

The original Kanaya frowns, “Ms. Pyrope, that doesn’t make sense. That’s a sight problem!”

“And I have a horrible one!” Terezi continues to laugh, “I thought you were supposed to call me Tereziple, Ms. Cucumber!”

“I suppose you mean Terezi, Ms. Pyrope. I apologize once more; you had me scared.”

Jade leans over to the horribly drunk troll, “Terezi, can you please tell me why Karkat got a divorce. Or should I wait for you to sober up? I’m sort of confused right now.”

The blind troll stirs in the arms of Kanaya and Rose, “What did you say Kanaya?”

“They grew apart.”

She turns back to Jade, “Wh-What Kanaya said,” and then she passed out.

“Gamzee, this is fucking disgusting.” Karkat trenches through the filth of the junk yard. “Why the fuck were you even here?”

“I don’t motherfucking know bro, you just go where your heart tells you.” Gamzee sniffs a bag covered in rotten eggs, “You should complain less bro, live a little on the light side.”

“Your heart is fucking insane!” Karkat continues to walk with Gamzee trotting behind. He has started another cigarette, and his temper is running short. But that’s not fucking unusual. “Tell me that you at least recognize where you were when you lost this stupid wallet.”

Gamzee slows down a little to think, “I do.”

“Really?” Karkat stops moving and turns to his friend. “Where is it?” Gamzee only smiles at the shorter troll awkwardly. Karkat realizes something, “You only said that because I told you to. You thought it would make me happy again.” The taller troll continues to smile. “Grub damn it Gamzee! What did I tell you about that?”

The smile falters, “To not say things that are important just to motherfucking please a motherfucker.” Gamzee’s eyes light up determined, “But bro, I do recognize some of this shit. Like that wheel,” he points to a disposed wheel resting on a pile of garbage, “I remember that shit.”

“Gamzee,” Karkat says annoyed, “you know nothing about cars, and that’s a fucking generic wheel. You do remember shit!”

“Thank bro I-“

“That wasn’t a fucking compliment you idiot!” The officer screams. Gamzee suddenly grabs his bro in a tight pale grip, and places his hand over the bro’s mouth. Karkat muffles a complaint.

“Shh bro, there’s others here.” Gamzee slowly drags his best friend around a corner of garbage. Peering over, the two bros can see a gang of adolescent teenagers made up of trolls and humans goofing around sharing what can be assumed as drugs. Particularly of the smoking leaf family. 

Gamzee pulls his moirail back to the garbage wall and whispers, “Let me do the talking bro; officers make them motherfuckers jumpy. Maybe they can help us. You get me?” Karkat rolls his eyes but stops struggling; Gamzee lets go, and the two walk towards the teenagers.

“Hey guys,” a low blooded troll calls out, “check out the grandpas over here! What’s up fuckers? Lost your cane?” The teenagers start to gang up on the adult trolls with insults and trolling. 

“The Sunday Brunch Special is in the morning geezer!”

“You motherfuckers lose your glasses?”

“Why can’t you motherfuckers talk? Heart attack coming for ya?” 

Gamzee lightly laughs, “Naw bro, we cool. I just lost my motherfucking wallet. You okay with us searching through this shit?”

“A wallet,” a girl squeaks. “Jim, there’s money in that!” She smacks a boy on the arm. The boy, Jim walks over to the adults.

“Do you think we’re going to let you get that wallet back?”

“Well if you’re going to be rude little motherfuckers, then we’ll look our fucking selves,” Gamzee pouts. 

“Naw way man,” Jim mocks, “We think we’ll find and keep your wallet. Need money for ourselves.”

“That’s not right bro, that’s my wallet! You’re a bad bro.”

“Whoa stooge, we’re not bad bros. Tell you what, if you beat us in the most fucking respect earning contest, we’ll leave you alone.” Jim backs up and throws his hands up in a challenging position.

Gamzee steps up, “What’s the contest motherfuckers?”

“Rap battle.”

“Oh you are fucking kidding me,” Karkat groans. Gamzee quickly shooshes his bro quiet. 

“I’m up for it,” the tall adult consents. “Who am I all up and against?” 

A troll from the back steps up. He slicks his hair behind his horns and begins, “Yo yo, Motherfuckers try to stop me. Well they better fucking flee. I don’t think they can see,” he moves to show how tall Gamzee is, “when this motherfucker is high as a tree.” His friends applaud him in approval.

“Whoa that was low,” Gamzee begins, “But if you think you hurt me bro, then you should know, that I have something to show.” The troll makes a jab at his pants.

No one cheers at his horrible rap; even Karkat insults it, “What the fuck are you doing?”

The younger troll goes again, “Man with such shit rhymes, you should come back some other time. Maybe when you’re less whack, so get off that crack. Fuck garbage has better taste, than you on your case.” The teenagers cheer again at their rapping member.

Gamzee tries to redeem himself, “Look at you fuckers so young, maybe you should just . . get hung?” Karkat face palms himself. 

“You’re not even making sense anymore!”

“I’m sorry bro, I’m doing my best!” Gamzee looks like he’s about to cry, “They are just saying really mean things!”

Karkat sighs, “Okay fuck it.” He pulls out his police badge, “I’m a fucking cop so get lost. How’s that for a rhyme?”

“Shit man,” one of the teenagers cry out, “It’s the po-po!”

“Everyone scram!” The teenagers slip away as fast as the can back to wherever they came from.

Gamzee turns to his bro, “I think I could have won against those motherfuckers.”


	5. Chapter Five

“So Kanaya, how do you feel now over two hours in this shindig?” Rose questions her new found troll associate. The woman holds a small notepad and pen she retrieved from her purse. She readies herself awaiting the jade blood’s response.

“Rose. Rose. Your face. It has colors.” Kanaya plops her palm on the blonde’s face. “You look so pretty Rose! Hehe I’m going wear a dress like your face. Rooose.”

The woman calmly removes the troll’s hand, “That’s just the lights reflecting off of my face dear.” She returns to her notepad, “Subject Kanaya displays severe attraction to colors; possibly resulting from a suppressed creative nature.” Rose removes herself from her notes and turns to Terezi who is wrapped up in a ball in the booth, “Subject Terezi is still completely unconscious. Feferi how do you feel?”

“Wheeeee! Glub glub glub!” The sea dweller has stood from her chair and is twirling around. “I’m swimming in alcohol!” She suddenly stops, “Whoops!” Feferi then collapses to the ground. Rose leans over the table to make sure she is okay. 

“Well your hair is going to have something awful stuck in it, but you’ll live. Subject Feferi is drunk happy.” Rose jots down in her notepad. “This is going to be great for a paper.” 

“I’m not drunk!” the sea dweller protests on the floor.

“Of course you’re not.” Rose turns to another troll, “How’s Vriska feeling now?”

Vriska, who was seemingly passed out on the table, abruptly rises up with her fists in the air. “Whoooooooo the fuck are you? You threatening me? I’ll pop your jaw you fucking human! I’m no idiot! I’m the fucking captain of my fucking pirate ship! I’ll drown you cold hearted biiiiiiiitch!” She starts to sway before collapsing on the table again.

“Hmm,” Rose reflects, “Subject Vriska is behaving normally. Jade? How are you feeling?”

Student Rose Lalonde’s final subject, Jade Harley, is humming a poorly assembled tune to herself. “Lalala. Hey Rose this is great isn’t it?” she giggles. Jade grabs her glass and chugs it, “Wow this is some strong shit!”

“That’s water Jade. I had our server cut you off. Remember?”

“Oh I know Rose!” Jade exclaims to her friend, “We-We should interrogate each other! It was so much fun when we did it together!”

Rose frowns, “Jade I don’t think we really-“

“Feferi!” Jade slaps her hand on the fallen sea dweller to startle her. “I need to talk to you missy! You are in big trouble!”

“Glub?” The troll raises herself up tired. “What’s going on?”

“Question time!” 

Feferi quickly perks up with the human, “Oooo! I want to ask questions first!”

“Nope!” Jade denies. “That’s not how the rules work. I go first!”

Rose is confused, “There are rules?”

Jade ignores her human friend again, “What do you do Miss Fish?”

“You don’t know what she does?” Rose asks astonished. 

“Never came up,” Jade shrugs back. The women turn to the corned troll for a response.

However, Feferi is having difficulty answering them, “Uh, well, I don’t know.” 

Rose tilts her head while pulling her notepad closer to her, “You don’t know?”

“Please!” Feferi laughs, “Do you know what it’s like? It’s impossible for me to get a job! No matter the standards! On one hand,” she flings out a hand, “If I get a lowest denominator job with low pay, then the high bloods are insulted by me, and the low bloods are mad that I took ‘their’ job!” She throws out her other arm, “And if I try to find a job usually done by my class then everyone feels threatened!” Feferi throws her hands up, “And there’s no glubbing middle ground!”

“I see,” Rose writes down something quick, “The Tyrian Curse. Everyone’s too scared of anyone with your rare blood color taking the role as the next empress. After the troll’s last empress, it’s not surprising to see why. Her total universe domination was terrorizing. And still is apparently. But how do you make a living?”

“Make a living?” Feferi bursts out to a louder laugh, “Like that’s even necessary! There is an enormous trust fund to my blood caste that seems like an abyss. I spend my time donating it to get rid of it. I don’t need it, so I give to the less fortunate. True it’s partly to get rid of my bad reputation, but that’s all anyone ever sees it as! They act like I’m trying to get close to them to cull them. The bad way.” Feferi scrunches up her face and starts to cry into her hands. “I hate this money! I try to get rid of it, but I found out that high bloods will give away their money for me! I don’t want to screw them! I just can’t get out of this glubbing curse!”

Jade feeling compassion pulls up the depressed troll to share her seat. “I never knew this Feferi! You always seem so happy.”

“My old publicist encouraged me to smile through it,” she responds with a strained laugh. “I did it so much it’s painfully automatic.”

“Does Sollux know about this?”

“He does,” Feferi holds her head which is starting to ache. “But he can’t stop them. He’s good for comfort though.”

“Well, what would you want to do if you could?” Rose queries moving closer to Feferi.

Feferi wipes her eyes, “I’ve always wanted to lead people. Oh my Grub can you believe that? Everyone would have a swim knowing that. But the truth is I’ve always wanted to help people by leading them to a better future. I guess donating for them is the closest I can get even if they don’t want me. Everyone is just so scared, I can’t even do all the fish puns like I want to. Because hey, why not make it even more clear that I’m a sea dweller. Always such a bragger!” She sighs, “It’s times like these that I wish I had a lusus.” 

“You never had a lusus?” A confused, and still drunk, Jade asks.

“It’s part of the Tyrian Curse Jade,” Feferi quietly responds. “Part of the treaty after the Great War was to annihilate Gl'bgolyb to keep ‘her’ from any leverage. She was the only lusus allowed to care for my blood caste, so no lusus for me. It’s not fair to be raised by my caretakers in its stead. It’s just not natural.”

“Boo-fucking-who,” Vriska mocks still resting on the table. She lifts her head and snarls, “Never having a lusus is better than losing one. And caretakers that only live to serve you? OH hoooooooow did you eeeeeeeever survive?”

While most trolls would be insulted by Vriska, Feferi felt sympathy, “You lost your lusus?”

“Another part of that fucking Treaty the humans made; no dangerous lusus. So what if my lusus ate living trolls! That’s what she did!”

Rose is interested, “Your lusus ate trolls?”

“Gl’bgolyb ate lusus,” Feferi contributes to the conversation.

“Pleeeeeeeease Peixes,” Vriska snarls, “You don’t even know what it means to suffer. The closest people around you love you. And if they don’t they will at least be straight up about it.” The spider troll leans back and curls to herself, “Better to know they’re faking it at least.”

The sea dweller sighs, “I don’t know if any of that is true. People only seem to be around me for their own personal gain. Usually financial.”

“Really?”

Jade rolls her eyes, “Vriska you only agreed to come here after Feferi said she’d pay.” Vriska huffs but returns to her solitude curl-up. 

“Sometimes I wonder if Sollux is like that,” Feferi continues. Her head is bowed down as she fights the escaping tears.

“No Feferi!” Jade consuls. “Sollux is a nice guy! He wouldn’t do such a thing.”

“I concur!” Kanaya shouts rising from her seat suddenly. She sways some more before leaning on Rose’s shoulder.

“How long have you been paying attention?” The blonde enquires with a smug look on her face. Kanaya doesn’t respond except for the low snores coming from her.

Feferi brushes her hair behind her fins, “I know that, but with Sollux-Oh Grub I ruined it from the start!”

“How could you do that?” Rose questions seriously with the sleeping troll still on her.

“I must have look like such a leech like that! I broke up with one boyfriend that I had a serious long term relationship with and moved immediately to the next! So sluty and I did that in front of everyone!” Jade and Vriska say nothing; even though, they had wondered the same thing about Ms. Peixes social life. “It’s just-Eridan and I could never work out! We used to be moirails as kids which was great, but Eridan thought we should be matesprits because ‘it just worked that way.’ I didn’t even feel that way towards him, and I was always stressed out. Glubbing Eridan always wanted to rule over low bloods; which is exactly what I’m against! We weren’t compatible. I felt horrible all the time with him. I was thinking about ending our relationship, but then Vriska stole my jewels, and I saw Eridan cheat on me. I couldn’t take it anymore! He kept calling me afterwards thinking I overreacted.” Feferi takes a big swig of her water, “And then Sollux shows up. I’ll admit that I wanted to date him to just get something for myself, to show Eridan. It wasn’t meant to be serious. During the case while we were driving around, Sollux was so sweet and funny. I thought he would be safe. But it got serious, and I got attached. And I don’t know if I can trust him.”

Jade pets Feferi’s hair as a way of comfort, “I’m sure you can. Sollux is the nicest guy around.”

“The first step,” Rose starts, “Should be to start trusting others, so others can trust you. If you can’t allow yourself to be close to others, than how will you survive? Your personality is not meant to be alone and depressed.” Rose cracks a smile, “And you know what Feferi? I think you made some real friends tonight.” Jade nods in agreement, but Vriska stays to herself. 

Feferi sniffles, “Really? I’m so sorry I ruined the fun.”

“Don’t worry dear,” Rose assures. “You all are just a bunch of sad drunks.” The woman checks her cell phone, “I think it’s time we return home.”

Karkat is shuffling through the trash. They have been searching for over an hour and have found nothing. To make matters worse, Karkat is on his last cigarette. His best friend is over at another pile digging away. The process would be quicker if Karkat didn’t have to stop Gamzee every time he tried to grab: needles, rotten food that he liked, or dead animals. Gamzee just happens to find those too often.

“Argh!” Karkat cries, “This is taking forever!”

Gamzee looks at his friend sadly, “Yeah bro, maybe we should just go home. It’s motherfucking cold, and it’s huge as a motherfucker here.”

“No! We are not fucking leaving. We have gone too far into this toilet of my ruined life tonight!” Karkat roughly digs at the trash.

“Bro, we can live without it.”

“Fuck you Gamzee!” Karkat screams to the trash pile. “I can’t. Not yet.”

The tall troll stops searching, “Maybe you should. Look bro, motherfucking piles everywhere. Do you want a feelings jam?”

“No! I want to find your Grub damn wallet!” Karkat starts to pound into the trash, “I gave it to you for a reason! You weren’t supposed to fucking lose it! Now shut up and dig!” Frowning, Gamzee returns to his pile. After two minutes, he finds something.

“Hey bro, I found it!” Karkat stops digging and runs to his fortunate friend. 

“Oh thank Grub! I thought it was lost forever.” He grabs the wallet and holds it closer to his chest. The dark leather feels soft under his rough hands like he’s holding a little animal Karkat doesn’t want to kill. The moment seemed all too good he realizes, “You had it this whole time.”

Gamzee throws his hands up and laughs forcefully, “I don’t know what you’re motherfucking talking about bro! Motherfucker is losing his mind and shit.”

“Damn it Gamzee!” Karkat glares up at his best friend, and even though he is shorter, he still looks frightening. “I needed you to keep this safe for me!”

“I’m sorry bro!” Gamzee apologizes, “I thought we could hang out more, and you could realize that you don’t motherfucking need it anymore. I wanted to help you.”

Karkat backs down, “I don’t need that sort of help.” He opens up the wallet and stares into its contents, “I want to move on, but I can’t. Not yet.” He returns the wallet to Gamzee. “Let’s go home. I need to smoke. Maybe a drink or two. Fuck it, I don’t have work tomorrow.”

Gamzee opens the wallet one more time. A few dollars and expired credit cards can be immediately seen. There are a few slots that Gamzee opens up slightly. Inside the slots are his id, his card for a local ice cream shop, and a picture with himself, Karkat and Nepeta standing together sharing a rare smile. The sun shines in the background of a park, and everyone looks purely happy. If Gamzee were to read the back of the picture, it would say, “Here Gamzee! A picture of purrfect friends. Karkat has one too. The silly sometimes furgets that I love him furever! Take care of him! –Nepeta.” Gamzee sighs; his best bro lost his own picture long ago.

He closes up the wallet, “I’m coming bro. Don’t you worry.” And the two trolls leave the junk yard.

Passing the two trolls by on the street is a long black automobile. Inside, two trolls and a human sit resting.

“Well Terezi is home,” Feferi says. “So who’s going next?”

“My house,” Jade answers. “Vriska is going to stay over. I don’t trust her to make it there safe.” Vriska is sitting next to the human in her own thoughts.

The limo quickly reaches Jade’s apartment, and the two females leave and say goodnight to the sea dweller. Jade has Vriska’s arm around the back of her neck for support as they head to the building.

“What are you doing,” Vriska mutters.

Jade opens the building’s main entrance, “Being your friend.”


End file.
